So I’ve been in this season of navigating the call that the Lord has placed on my life. God has placed this huge vision in front of me for the beautiful kingdom of Cambodia. Honestly at times it has been a bit overwhelming, frightening, yet confidently full of joy, excitement and hope for what’s ahead. I have come to realize that navigation of a call such as this is actually about losing control, or perhaps releasing control. Personal abandonment and absolute trust, which I am convinced is a life long journey of continuously choosing to abandon our own selves and trust in the one who holds all things.
So it all started with a wild dream when the Holy Spirit fell on room #4 at the Monsoon Hotel in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I was in Cambodia with a powerful team of amazing friends and family including my brother in-law Matt. Earlier that day while the two of us were standing in a rooftop lounge we jokingly said to each other, “hey, the holy spirit is going to show up in our dreams tonight”. Little did we realize, He was not only listening but in that moment, speaking through us. We both woke at 1:30am looked at each other and began laughing hysterically. Is this really happening? The next time we woke Matt began sharing his dream with me and after falling back to sleep the lord wove that into what He was sharing with me. It was beautiful, every time I woke I would open my journal and write everything I could remember. It was wild, rainbows, pots of gold, navigation, hope, empowerment, generations of Khmer people and new lenses. Until today I’ve been quite confused by this. Until now I couldn't recognize this as the beginning of the call. He was revealing a glimpse of what was to come. He was sparking the fire that I carry today!
Navigating through this season of life has been less about the “big picture” vision from the lord and more about staying present. Purposefully keeping my eyes fixated on what the Lord is doing here and now. Finding his presence in today, listening for His voice and looking for the open doors He’s placing around me. All the while, in the here and now, He’s guiding me through deeper surrender, further into relationship and a bit clearer into The Call to the Kingdom. I believe we were never meant to be comfortable but confident in the Kingdom of God.
So for now, I stand Uncomfortably Confident in the navigator of my life.
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